Timeline

After spending years being in a relationship with one person, I felt so liberated after the breakout. Of course I mourned the loss of the relationship but after that, the only thing I felt was relief. I am no longer shackled. I am free.

I have a lot of free time now. I no longer need to think or worry about another person. For the first time in a very long time, I can actually do what I want without any compromise. It is quite relieving I tell you. I bet other newly single people can relate to what I’m saying a few weeks to a month after their breakup.

I love being single! Sometimes I wonder why I never thought about this earlier. But of course, I had to go through hardships to truly appreciate being single.

This is why I am not listening to people on my social circle who are pestering me to get back into dating. I do not want to date. I am genuinely happy being single. I like watching movies that I want. I like going to restaurants that I love and I have no problems curling up by the fire on a Friday night reading my book. Sure, you’d say I’m a bitter, single person but here are some of the reasons why I don not want to go dating.

1. I do not know how to – after spending years with one person, I have no idea how to act on a date. I’ll be uncomfortable and anxious to the point that it will be awkward for the both of us.

2. I hate the game – I never liked dating in the first place. I hate the game. I hate pussyfooting around. I like my relationships to start organically and not as a result of social convention or experimentation.

3. It’s a waste of time and money – what’s the point spending hours with a person that you do not like? Its too much precious time to risk on a possibility of happiness when I am already happy right now.

I’m not resigned to be single forever. I just don’t want to start dating just because I’m supposed to be dating.

Oh by the way, this will be my last post. I’m going on a backpacking trip across the country. See you guys in a few months! Here’s to an adventurous single life!

Being single has helped me become a different person. Lately, I have been more focused on myself and what I can do to achieve my goals and dreams. I have done things that I never really found the time to do while I was being happily in love. Now, since I have found myself with more free time, I was able to do things like finally helping out in the nursing home. I have always been meaning to help out but never really gotten around to doing it until now.

I have been also able to catch up with all of my friends whom I haven’t really spent a lot of time with when I was still in a relationship. I really feel bad that I actually gave more time with my ex but with my friends, I didn’t get to spend time with them as often as I should have. Now, I am making amends and I always find time to meet up with them. I won’t ever blow off my friends just for a guy. I know better now.

Most especially, being single has given me a lot of time to visit my family more often. I admit that I was not the most excited person ever when it came to visiting my family. Now, I really take the time to visit them even for just a weekend and I really appreciate the time that I do spend with them. I have come to realized that even if you lose everything, your family will always be the only people who are going to stand by you no matter what.

Emotional shopping is only good if you have money. If you do not have much to spare, it is better if you steer away from this kind of shopping because surely, you will only get more depressed after. Being financially depressed is far worse. So today, I thought that I could blow some cash by buying stuff that I won’t probably be wearing anyway but I still bought them because they made me feel good about myself. Besides, I bought stuff that would help me in my makeover.

 I am no expert in putting on make-up but I like collecting eye shadows. They look so pretty especially the really bright ones. Of course, I don’t really know how to apply them. I just know how to randomly apply a very basic color palette as to just be safe and not look like a clown. With it, I also bought some brushes which my friends told me that I should have. Every brush goes with a specific application so I must have everything if possible. Quite funny since I don’t really know how to do eye make-up all that well. As long as I don’t look like I have a black eye, I would already say that I did enough.

I probably bought three black dresses. Like they say, one can never have enough of the LBD.

Today my friends and I went back to the gym again. Of course, like the first time, we were all pretty excited and we all were fretting about what to wear. Pardon us, we are girls after all. Of course, the girls were more excited to go back because of the “hot” trainer we have. Their words, not mine. I am so not ready for discussions like that anyway.

When we went to the gym, we automatically headed towards the treadmill area for our warm ups. However, our trainer stopped us because he wanted us to try the elliptical tool this time. He said he wanted to try and see first if what kind of program he was going to give us. Each person has different programs depending on the areas that needed work. He explained that the elliptical trainer was better suited for those who wanted to really give their lower bodies a workout. True enough, after just a few minutes of being on the machine, we were all so tired and our legs were aching already. But of course, my friends were trying to impress our trainer (who’s name is John by the way) so they didn’t try to complain while he was within earshot.

Elliptical Trainer

Single is indeed sexy.

Being single has a lot of perks too. Now, I am able to spend time with my girlfriends more. Before, there was a time when it was always just me and my ex. My friends were very understanding of course but it just was not the same. Now, we do a lot of things together. We go to malls and we have been spending a lot of time in coffee shops or eating anywhere we felt like eating. It was just me and my girls and I actually and genuinely loved every minute of being with them.

It reminds me of our favorite show, Sex and the City which brings me to a conversation we had. We asked ourselves regarding who we were in the characters of the show. I said I was Carrie because I was the one who loved to write the most and it is pretty obvious since I am blogging about my life right now. Of course, I wish I had her closet and collections of shoes and all those beautiful things she had on the show.

The girls of Sex and the City

I love my friends and no matter what happens from here on out, we will always have each other’s backs. I am very thankful that they didn’t leave me alone and they always put in a lot of effort to cheer me up. Boys come and go in your life but your real friends are always just going to be there for you. Thank you girls. I love you forever!

Being single after a long time of being part of a duo, I have decided that it was time to change my routines. Sometimes, I still catch myself thinking about doing something that I usually did for my ex or doing something that involved him. That is why it was about time that I adjust the things I do and this time, I should do things for myself.

My apartment was also still arranged to incorporate my ex’s life as well. That’s why today, I decided to clean up and fix my place. I started with my closet. My ex used to come over all the time and I had to give him some space in my closet. Now that I am alone, I should start filling in the empty spaces.

I also had to fix my bathroom and the medicine cabinet. I used to share a lot of space with my ex but now that he’s not here anymore, my apartment should be all about me. It is time to be selfish and love myself again. I have been living my life always compromising with my ex but this time, everything should be all about me. It is my time and nothing is going to stop me from being happy even without him in my life.

Today was our first workout day. My friends and I were so excited that we really prepared what we were going to wear to the gym. It was really lame of us but the main thing was that we were really looking forward to sweating it out.

When we arrived at the gym, thankfully, there weren’t really a lot of people there. I know that we were going to be so noisy that it would be really embarrassing if there were a lot of people working out too. The four of us met with the trainer and he assigned us to start with cardio on the treadmill. True to what we had imagined, we found ourselves running side by side. There was a huge television in front of us that was showing an episode of America’s Next Top Model. It was pretty cool actually. We were aso amazed at the technology of our treadmill.

It was a Nordictrack treadmill and there were a lot of programs to choose from. At first we got really confused with what to press and all but after a few random presses, we finally were able to start working out. It was really cool because there was a map and you could pretend that you were walking or running an actual route.

After warming up, we proceeded to other equipments and we were even asked to lift some weights. They weren’t really heavy but it was exhausting when you go over everything on just your first day. But all in all, it was a nice experience. Plus, my friends were all excited to go back there because they had a crush on our trainer. Haha, typical.

Just a quick post because I really don’t feel like thinking or doing anything else right now. Yes, I am wallowing. But isn’t it normal? Anyone in my position would do the same thing I am sure. But always remember that after you have given yourself a few days or weeks of wallowing and letting everything out, start picking up the pieces and stop crying your heart out with everything related to your ex.

This is exactly what I am doing now because after this stage, I am going to be strong and feel better about myself. Things will always work out in the end.

Today, I decided to have an alone time. These past few days, I have never been without a friend with me especially when I go outside and do some errands. However, today I just wanted to see for myself how it is to be on my own. I know you might think I am being too overly dramatic but the thing is, for four years, literally I haven’t been just by myself. I was always with my ex-boyfriend. That was how inseparable we were but then again, being always together wasn’t such a good thing after all.

I decided to do the usual thing I did before with my ex. This time, I did everything on my own. At the end of the day, I really felt much better and stronger even. I realized that I could actually recover from this heartbreak. It’s just only in the beginning when you think that you couldn’t continue living without that person in your life. But really, as time goes by, you will just realize that things are going to be ok. They will always be ok and breaking up with someone is no different.

 I went to have coffee in Starbucks today. My ex and I used to go here all the time. We were both such coffee persons and there’s no wonder why all our friends could usually see us hanging out in a coffee shop. I still ordered the same one that I have been having for years which was a Venti Hot Mocha.

I am such a book person and I really lost myself today in the thousands of books that Barnes & Noble had. I used to get engrossed with the whole place that my ex would be frantic about me not replying to all his texts and calls. He soon later realized that when that happens, I would just be here, scouring over books.

At the end of the day, I was alone at my house. I sprawled at my couch, reading a book that I bought and eating take-out food. Somehow, even when I was feeling lonely, I knew that life would go on and soon, I will really be ok. Suddenly, I didn’t feel scared about being alone forever.

I want to feel really good about myself. I don’t exactly think I’m fat but it won’t hurt to lose a few pounds. Besides, I have never really worked out before and for me to move on, I should also do new stuff. Going to the gym is definitely going to be a new thing for me. I have never gone to the gym before and there is always a first time for everything, right?

The fun thing about this is my friends also want to go with me. At least it would be more fun and the girls have finally found their excuse for working out as well. All of us are not really the type to sign up for stuff like this but apparently, everyone is willing to try it so let us get it on!

We are all excited to work out on the treadmill. We even joke that we are finally going to be able to do those scenes on the movies where girlfriends go together to the gym and work out on the treadmill. They would all be like gossiping with each other while they are walking or running on the treadmill. We just hope that even if we get all sweaty, we could still look as sexy and gorgeous as those women on the movies. I am sure that would not even be possible. But we are all pretty excited to shop for gym clothes. Haha, we sound like typical girls, don’t we? My friends are all about going to the gym because of the hot boys for sure.